Transition to Fatherhood

Over the years, it has been encouraging and challenging to me to think about the prospect of fatherhood.  It's amazing to hear the remarks of so many dads in so many contexts, and then wonder what it would be like to actually be a dad.

I have wanted to be a dad for quite a while, so that certainly affects my response to this transition.  And I realize that different people act, react, and cope with changes in different ways.  However, I would like to say that, in my opinion, the transition to fatherhood is nowhere near as dramatic as many have said.

Don't get me wrong: Taking care of our newborn is not exactly easy, and it currently involves nonstop care.  But it's not difficult, either; it's just time consuming.  My so-called pastoral schedule is essentially non-existent at this point, but we are only three weeks into my son's life, and things are already getting back into what I would call a new normal.  No, things will never be the same for my wife and me, but instead of letting that sound like a negative, I want to unequivocally and clearly state that it is a huge positive.  Even though it's extra work, it's not hard, and we absolutely love having this new addition, our son.

Many times I've heard statements from fathers who questioned whether the transition to married life or the transition to parenthood was a more dramatic change.  For me, I can say that the transition to being a husband was more prominent than becoming a father, but both were smooth transitions.  Neither change has to be dramatic or traumatic.  The key is remembering that my life is not my own (it is God's), and that I cannot be a good husband or father apart from God—I am completely dependent on a God who loved us so much that He came to serve an undeserving crowd.

So, to any reader who might be awaiting marriage or parenthood, for what it's worth, let me give my perception of life as a husband and new dad.  If you know and draw your strength from God, and prepare your mind for the changes, neither transition has to be difficult.  In fact, it can even be relatively smooth and comfortable.

You know, I had been wondering what would bring me out of my blog posting slump.  Since February 13, I had lost track with trying to write and publish here.  But I knew that something big at some point, like for instance, becoming a father (!), would bring renewed impetus to writing.

Before, the problem seemed to be: having enough time to write all that I wanted to write.

Now, as a father of a newborn, having enough time to write should not be a problem....

And even though that last sentence drips with sarcasm, I actually hope to write more, and more frequently, in the coming days regarding some thoughts on family, parenting, and specifically fatherhood.  I count it a blessing and privilege.

Comments are welcomed.

Latte Art

Here's a little something for those who think I take my coffee grinding, brewing and drinking too seriously.  This was actually on washingtonpost.com's front page, top stories section earlier today.  There's even a two-minutes, 46-seconds video for your enjoyment.

You can find the story here, titled The Latte With the Best Squiggle Wins.

New Providence Team Resources

We have some very gifted leaders at our church, and I thought it would be good to introduce you to three newly-released or soon-to-be-released resources that I believe could be very beneficial to your Godward progress.  For the two books mentioned below, I hope to provide in the future a sort of review, or at least overview, in order to give an idea of what to expect.  But for now, here is a brief snapshot.

Our senior pastor, David Horner, has written a new book titled A Practical Guide for Life and Ministry, which will be available in late February or early March from Baker Books.  The subtitle is Overcoming 7 Challenges Pastors Face.  Although this book is geared towards pastors as a primary audience, I would say that the principles are transferable to anyone who wants to live a balanced life regardless of role.  David has a passion to equip others in life and ministry.  His first major written work, Firmly Rooted, Faithfully Growing, contains a biblical framework for principle-based ministry, where he details a healthy model for church life, philosophy and structure.  He has also produced a book for fathers, Dad's Words of Wisdom.  Both of these books are available at our resource center.  Again, this new Life and Ministry balance book will be available by early March at most bookstores, and can be preordered now from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, CBD, WTS Bookstore, ...you get the idea.

Our student ministries pastor, Steve Wright, also recently released a new book, reThink.  This book takes a thoughtful and respectfully critical look at where many youth ministries are today, and asks the reader the question: Are these types of student ministries accomplishing what we think and hope they are?  He has such a heart to see parents actively involved in their children's discipleship.  Steve's book is available several places as well, but we recommend you get it from the publisher, InQuest Ministries.

Daniel Renstrom is our college ministry director.  Although you can hear Daniel's work on the college ministry worship team's previously released worship album called Vaunted Pleasures, and although he has sung with the Shelly Moore Band, this is his first solo venture (solo doesn't mean that he's not backed by a great band).  This six-track EP titled adore and tremble is excellent, and will bless your personal worship time.  It is available for purchase at Providence, and will soon be available online at his website and on iTunes.

I pray, along with these brothers of mine, that these resources will equip and encourage you.

Doing God's Known Will

Following on the heels of my first post (i.e. one month ago) :), I thought it would be good to post the main idea that initiated the follow-up.  It was the FLC's December 16 class time in which we talked about the importance of doing God's known will, instead of spending so much time focused on (and worrying about) finding God's will, usually with regard to a personal situation that requires a decision.

First, here are five of the specific things that scripture tells us is God's "will" (in Greek, θέλω) for us.

1. It is God’s will that all who trust in Christ Jesus will have eternal life.

For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.

John 6.40 (NASB, emphasis added)

2. It is God’s will that all believers be consumed with His Spirit.

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit….

Ephesians 5.15-18 (NASB, emphasis added)

3. It is God’s will that all believers be progressing in holiness.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.  For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.

1 Thessalonians 4.3-7 (NASB, emphasis added)

4. It is God’s will that all believers be constantly joyful, prayerful, and thankful.

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5.16-18 (NASB, emphasis added)

5. It is God’s will that all believers be obedient for the sake of nonbelievers.

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right.  For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

1 Peter 2.13-15 (NASB, emphasis added)

(By the way, as I described on December 16, my wording on point #5 is not meant to imply that our obedience isn't for the glory of God, or secondarily for our benefit in growth, or anything else for that matter.  Peter simply reminds us that our obedience in submission validates the gospel in our lives, to the degree that others notice and cannot deny the power of God at work in us—the power of a changed life.)

So...how are you doing?  Are you fulfilling what you know is God's will for you?  None of us can say that we are always doing God's will—all the time, in every area listed above.  But are you pursuing these things?  Are you maturing in them?  Are you making progress?

So often, we don't or cannot hear God's voice on the unknown, specific, personal areas, because we are not even attempting by His Spirit to do His will in the known, general, universal areas.

Finally, here is a partial list of verses which speak clearly of doing God's will.  Each text appears to assume believers should already know God's will in order to do it.

• Matthew 7.21
• Matthew 12.50
• Mark 3.35
• Luke 12.47
• John 4.34
• John 9.31
• Acts 13.22
• Acts 21.14
• Ephesians 6.6
• Hebrews 10.36
• Hebrews 13.21
• 1 John 2.17

God's will.  Just do it.

Paralyzed by Indecision

I hope you have had a wonderful time celebrating Christ this season!

I've had several comments since the FLC message on December 16, on doing God's will. Since we in the Foundations LIFE Class (and all classes at Providence) did not meet last week (Dec 23), nor will we meet this week (Dec 30), I thought it might be a good idea to finalize some thoughts left hanging from Dec 16. I also remembered that I never explained the significance of the two texts from Romans printed on the outline.

I made some statements toward the end of our time that as long as you are doing God’s known will—at least the five specific areas we discussed that day—then there is nothing wrong with pursuing what you believe to be God’s plan for you in how He has designed you. So what are we to understand with regard to basic life decisions such as: Can I leave this job?; Do I take that job?; Do I move to that area?; Should I ask out or go out with this person?; Can I make this purchase?; etc.? Here are some thoughts that I am posting in the hope that they will be helpful. (If you missed that day, and want some notes, I’m working on making something available, because others have asked.)  So here we go.

It is interesting to me that very few New Testament texts discuss God’s will regarding a personal decision—at least in the context in which we think of it (job, move, dating, etc.). Big clue: Sometimes the silence of scripture—the absence of something from scripture—is teaching us something by implication. As I said last time we met, there are many more texts regarding God’s will (from the Greek, θέλω) that speak of doing God’s will, instead of finding God’s will, which we so often tend to say. However, when it comes to using the term (will) in the sense of a personal decision, we see two uses in Romans that I think are particularly helpful. The first is in the first chapter.

For God, whom I serve in my spirit in the preaching of the gospel of His Son, is my witness as to how unceasingly I make mention of you, always in my prayers making request, if perhaps now at last by the will of God I may succeed in coming to you. Romans 1.9-10 (NASB, emphasis added)

Here we have the missionary apostle, Paul, who is trying to reach more people with the good news of Jesus. He wants to make it to Rome, but has not found a way within God’s will to do it yet. He sure has tried, but the proverbial doors have been closed. Notice what it says in the sentence above. He hopes to “succeed” “at last” by the will of God. In other words, he has tried before, and “failed,” because it was not—or perhaps not yet—God’s will. It was not a failure to keep trying to make it to Rome for the gospel's sake; it simply wasn't the right time.  I love how the NKJV translates this verse (10). Paul says he is “making request if, by some means, now at last I may find a way in the will of God to come to you” (emphasis mine). That translation doesn’t distort the Greek text at all. I believe that is exactly what Paul is essentially saying: “I’ve been trying to go there, but haven’t yet found a way within God’s will to go. God has been closing the doors every time I’ve tried.” Notice the dual role of God’s sovereignty and human responsibility. As we have said many times before, scripture teaches that they go hand in hand.

The second clarification for us comes in Romans 15.

For this reason I have often been prevented from coming to you; but now, with no further place for me in these regions, and since I have had for many years a longing to come to you whenever I go to Spain—for I hope to see you in passing, and to be helped on my way there by you, when I have first enjoyed your company for a while—but now, I am going to Jerusalem serving the saints. …Now I urge you, brethren, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God for me, that I may be rescued from those who are disobedient in Judea, and that my service for Jerusalem may prove acceptable to the saints; so that I may come to you in joy by the will of God and find refreshing rest in your company. Romans 15.22-25, 30-32 (NASB, emphasis added)

Again, we see Paul saying that he has been prevented from going to Rome to see them. And although it may have appeared to be earthly forces that kept him from going, the implication seems to be that God has caused or allowed the delay for reasons unknown to Paul at the time (see also Acts 16.6-7, and Acts 19.21). Paul kept making plans, believing himself to be in step with God’s Spirit (i.e. in part, the five clear things we discussed that we know are God’s will), and moving forward with his plans to do what he thought was best according to how God designed him. He knew that if it did not turn out to be “God’s plan,” then it would not ultimately happen—or not happen in the same way Paul intended.

Or think of it the other way. Perhaps he could (humanly speaking) recklessly “force” something to happen, which might open up God’s clear disapproval and discipline. Sometimes God causes or allows us to move forward with plans (like even allowing our plans to sin, for example), knowing that we will fail and learn from the failure. Everything is a teachable moment for us.

So, the apostle Paul walks with the Spirit of God, all the while making plans and decisions based on God’s design for him. We don’t see him stressing over the fact that he doesn’t know God’s will, and is therefore paralyzed from making the next decision or taking the next step. He knows God will change the plans if needed. (We’ll have more on Paul’s design—and of course, ours—coming in January.)

Hmm. Making wise decisions and moving forward. …Not a bad pattern to follow.