Showing posts with label Family/home life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family/home life. Show all posts

Monday, December 3, 2012

From the Beginning

How do you start off your day? It seems many people contend that what you do first in the morning has a great impact on the rest of your day. Thus it follows that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Not sure who came up with that one; I would fail that test.

How do you begin a new year? Or any new phase? Certainly there is something powerful about starting well so that you can end well.

This all makes sense when we remember perhaps the three main inherent desires that each of us has. We all long for a sense of significance/value, we all need relationship/community, and we all desire an understanding our destiny (where we're going) and origin (where we came from; how we began). We Christians would contend that these desires are satisfied in Christ.

So it's not ironic that the Apostle John would focus on this third element: the origin, the beginning.

It's obvious to see what appears to be a parallel between how John starts the letter now known as 1 John, and how he starts the Gospel that bears his name. And both of those remind us of the first words in the Bible:

What was from the beginning,
what we have heard,
what we have seen with our eyes,
what we have observed
and have touched with our hands,
concerning the Word of life—
(1 John 1.1, HCSB, emphasis added) 

In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was with God in the beginning.
(John 1.1-2, HCSB, emphasis added)

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. (Genesis 1.1, HCSB, emphasis added)

Regarding the parallels, some have said that in 1 John, he is talking about the eternality of Jesus, the "Word of life." They might cite 1 John 2.13-14: "the One who is from the beginning."

Others say that John is referencing the beginning of the proclamation of the gospel message, the "word about the Life." They might quote 1 John 2.7; 2.24, or 3.11: "For this is the message you have heard from the beginning."

I believe that John was smart enough to do both at the same time. Listen to how he continues chapter one, after the first verse:

…that life was revealed,
and we have seen it
and we testify and declare to you
the eternal life that was with the Father
and was revealed to us—
what we have seen and heard
we also declare to you,
so that you may have fellowship along with us;
and indeed our fellowship is with the Father
and with His Son Jesus Christ.
(1 John 1.2-3, HCSB)

The beautiful way in which John works in both the eternal nature of God and the consistent message of His grace is the starting point of a short letter in which he reminds us of all the things that we can and should know.

On Sunday mornings at Fellowship we are working our way through the letter of 1 John this Advent season. It may not be at the top of everyone's list of obvious Christmas texts of Scripture, but maybe it should be. John starts off with the genuineness of the incarnation of Jesus. That is Christmas—the miracle of the birth of the Messiah.

If you live in our area, we hope you can join us. If not, you can listen to our podcasts. And we'll be sharing some thoughts here along the way.

Monday, May 7, 2012

For Marriage

There are times when certain issues require our attention. For North Carolinians, this is one of those of those times.

At the end of our worship gathering at Fellowship yesterday, I shared with our congregation why I will be voting for the marriage amendment to our state constitution. While we do not endorse candidates, and carefully choose when we make any public comment on political matters, in my view this amendment is far greater than any merely political action.

Simply stated, I will vote for the amendment because marriage matters to God. He created marriage in the first place, immediately after He created Adam and Eve. And although there were cultural shifts throughout biblical times, it is clear that God’s purpose and design for marriage never changed. I have briefly written previously on marriage here and here.

To me, the greatest principle, coming from Ephesians 5 (see links above), is that we as husbands and wives, in one-man, one-woman covenant relationships, have a great privilege in sharing the gospel of God through the picture of marriage. It’s as simple as that.

Some have argued that it is not loving for us to keep marriage as defined as being between one man and one woman—that this excludes other types of relationships and is therefore unloving. To that, I would say that the most unloving thing that I can do is to have what I believe is the truth and grace for all cultures, and yet not share it. Not to give the truth, in loving and caring ways, is unloving.

These are the primary reasons why this vote is necessary and critical.

Some interesting and helpful commentary has been offered by JD Greear and David Horner.

If you live in North Carolina, I encourage you to vote for marriage, and for the marriage amendment, tomorrow on May 8.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Bible Reading Encouragement

On Sunday, my wife and I began a Bible reading strategy that I thought might be helpful to you as well. As a pastor, I find it relatively easy to stay on course when studying a paragraph of Scripture for a sermon or working through a Bible book as I teach or write, but consistency in reading outside of specific study is sometimes not easy. I really appreciate when the ease of technology puts together the best of the Internet’s abilities to do something that can actually help you grow in character.

Of course, with any Bible reading plan, if the only reason you are doing it is to say you’ve done it, or to check off boxes on a reading plan, it won’t change your life. But if you’re sincerely looking for a way to aid you in your reading, keep you on track, and even help to hold you accountable to a real-life person, this can be a super assistant, and may even be beneficial in your Godward progress.

YouVersion.comIt’s a free tool from YouVersion.com, which offers a series of Bible reading plans. You can simply read any paper and ink Bible and check off the day’s scheduled reading, or you can have the Bible delivered to you in a variety of ways. You can have YouVersion send you a daily email with the first part of your reading embedded, so that you’re encouraged to start there and then click through to the site where you can complete your reading and check off the day’s plan. Or you can simply go to your main login page, where the plan automatically (if you stay signed in) pulls up where you’re supposed to start for the day. If you’re on your smartphone a lot, YouVersion has free apps available (iPhone, Android, others) that will let you read on your mobile device, and then whatever your read on mobile will sync with the full Web version so that you don’t have to keep checking in both places.

The service helps keep you on track, gives the ability to share Scripture on Twitter and Facebook, and it uses real friends, if you wish, to help hold you accountable. If you opt in to accountability, it will send reading progress reports via email to whoever you assign as an accountability partner. So my wife and I will be helping each other in this way. We chose the same reading plan, in part so that we can talk about what we’ve read together.

I look forward to coming back to the blog and posting how this has been a blessing in our walk with God—and even in our marriage.

Friday, December 30, 2011

The Church, The Community of Truth

We have finally completed a series of thoughts on 1 Timothy. This trust of guarding the gospel, as the community of truth, is a great and awesome privilege for your church and mine. I pray these notes can be encouraging and challenging.

  1. A Loving Command (Introduction)
  2. Protecting the Integrity of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.3-4)
  3. Promoting the Goal of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.5-7)
  4. Proclaiming the Grace of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.8-11)
  5. Preserving the Progress of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.18-20)
  6. Intense Desire for Ministry (1 Tim 1.12-17)
  7. Gospel-Advancing Prayer (1 Tim 2.1-8)
  8. Purposeful, Ordered Design (1 Tim 2.8-15)
  9. Proven Character for Leadership (1 Tim 3.1-7)
  10. Respectable Volunteer Leaders (1 Tim 3.8-13)
  11. The Pillar and Pattern of the Truth (1 Tim 3.14-16)
  12. Falling Away from Faith (1 Tim 4.1-5)
  13. Good Servants of Christ Jesus (1 Tim 4.6-16)
  14. Church Life as Family (1 Tim 5.1-16)
  15. Maintaining Trustworthy Elders (1 Tim 5.17-25)
  16. When God Doesn’t Change My Circumstances (1 Tim 6.1-2)
  17. Godliness with Contentment (1 Tim 6.3-10, 17-19)
  18. Guarding the Trust (1 Tim 6.11-16, 20-21)

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Reflections and Celebrations

I love the month of December.

December makes most people either smile or cringe. I realize that the season is difficult for many, but it also reminds us of some very important truths.

First, I love December because of the obvious: It is the season of Christmas, the continual recognition that God came down to earth to be with us and save us. For this most incredible reason alone, this season is a glorious one.

Another reason I love this month is for all the Holidaypalooza around the season—with all the music and parties and decorations. The period of Thanksgiving through Christmas and then New Year is full of great celebrations. If you can wade through all the commercialization, it’s a really sweet time.

Finally, the end of the year marks a time of reflection. This year, like any other, brought many hardships and joys for our church family. We have been stretched. That’s why December can be so hard for some. But we grow through that process also. With the change of season comes an opportunity to remember all that God has done—even the hard things. And at the same time, it gives us an opportunity to refuel and start thinking about days ahead, and the plans God has for us. There is great hope for the coming year.

So I pray that you and I can both reflect and celebrate as we share this season together.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Church Life as Family

I once heard a conference speaker tell me that I was God’s favorite. What was immediately confusing about that statement is that I wasn’t the only one in the audience. Others must have heard him say the same thing. Which means that a few hundred were told they were God’s favorite. Which seems to diminish the idea of what it means to be a favorite just a little bit.

The fact is the Bible says that God is no respecter of persons in the sense that He has no favorites of earthly influence. He doesn’t need to.

At the same time, God’s word is also clear that He is always looking out for widows and orphans in a significant way. Take one example (there are several):

God in His holy dwelling is
a father of the fatherless
and a champion of widows.
(6) God provides homes for those who are deserted.
He leads out the prisoners to prosperity,
but the rebellious live in a scorched land.
(Psalm 68.5-6, HCSB)

As we have worked our way through the letter of 1 Timothy, we have previously noted a couple of places where Paul implies that the family unit is like a little church, and the church is like a big family. God cares how families treat each other, and particularly how families treat their orphans and widows. At this point in his letter, in 1 Timothy 5.1-16, Paul addresses the way we treat each other in the church, responding to each other and our needs. How can we regard our fellow church members as family?

We treat every member with gentle respect. (vv. 1-2)

Verses 1 and 2 of chapter 5 could perhaps align better with what came immediately before them, but it seems appropriate to understand them as part of a larger discussion on family-church life. Paul speaks of our interactions with fellow church members, that communication should happen with gentleness and respect, as if they were family members. He adds a special phrase as a reminder to treat young ladies with all purity. So first, we are to treat each member of the church (family) with gentle respect. But there is another important admonition.

We care for true widows with loving support. (vv. 3-16)

This is a large grouping of verses to put together under one point, but they begin and end with the exhortation to assist those who are genuinely widows, or truly widows. Paul describes widows who are left without any family to help take care of them.

God’s word is clear that the church has a responsibility to help take care of those church members who have no one else to assist them. He says that if anyone has family members, the family should provide assistance, monetary and otherwise. Those who could help but refuse to do so are, according to the Holy Spirit, “worse than” one who claims no Christian faith at all. The Scripture simply recognizes that even those not operating from a Christian ethic understand the basic desire to and necessity of support for family members. Christians who don’t are without excuse.

Here God sets up a process whereby genuine widows (and perhaps by extension, anyone who is without any real means of support) can and should receive assistance from the church when possible. Paul and the church there know that many people tend to abuse the assistance process, and so he sets in place a series of guidelines as to who should receive the available support. The list or enrollment mentioned in verse 9 implies those who qualify for support. Regarding widows, to receive church assistance, he said they must be:

  • Genuinely left without support (vv. 4-5, 16)
  • Genuinely trusting in God (vv. 5-7; contrast vv. 11-15)
  • Genuinely faithful in serving (vv. 9-10)
  • Genuinely senior in age (v. 9; contrast v. 14)

Paul doesn’t want the church or the process to be abused, so parameters are set in place. And there are pretty stern warnings for those who reject this plan. We’ve already noted the “worse than an infidel” section. But notice also in verses 14-15 that those who would abuse this process for support are risking the accusations and temptations of Satan himself. This is serious business for the church to get right.

Why? Because the church is the community of truth. And how we treat widows really matters.

[This is part of a larger series on 1 Timothy called The Community of Truth.]

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Proven Character for Leadership

After taking quite a hiatus from publishing notes on a series I have previously taught and that I am teaching now on Wednesday evenings at my church, I wanted to return to these posts on the biblical letter known as 1 Timothy. You can find the first several parts of the series here.

Sadly, even a mention of the topic of pastoral integrity can conjure up mental pictures of all the prominent pastors we know of who have fallen in ministry. We remember them because they were placed on a proverbial pedestal, implicitly or explicitly stating that they were men of character worth following. Pastors aren’t supposed to be superhuman, as some seem to think, but they are to be pursuing God and godly character in such a way that their progress is evident to everyone. Notice how the Apostle Paul describes Timothy’s proven character to the Philippians:

Now I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon so that I also may be encouraged when I hear news about you. (20) For I have no one else like-minded who will genuinely care about your interests; (21) all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. (22) But you know his proven character, because he has served with me in the gospel ministry like a son with a father. (Philippians 2.19-22, HCSB, emphasis added)

After talking about God’s purposeful, ordered design for church gatherings and the life of the church, now in 1 Timothy 3.1-7, Paul speaks about the qualifications of those who would lead and teach the church. What types of prerequisites are placed on church leaders? The men who would oversee the church must first have done these things.

Proven Personal Integrity (1 Timothy 3.1-3)

He begins by affirming that if someone senses an ongoing deep longing to serve as an overseer (pastor), his desires are good and noble. But he must live out his stated desires by proving his character. The apostle gives a list of qualifications for serving as an overseer. The pastor must practice these qualities, he says. We won’t detail the list here, but a brief look will show Paul’s heart.

The pastor must be above reproach. He must be a one-woman man. He must have the character and integrity that anyone would expect of a pastor. But perhaps what is most striking about this list is that every trait except one is actually expected of every follower of Jesus. The only unique prerequisite listed is that he must be able to teach. In other words, every believer should pursue godliness to the degree that he or she has proven progress in character. But the pastoral overseer must not only demonstrate these traits, he must also be able to teach adequately if he is to lead a church.

Modeled Family Leadership (vv. 4-5)

In many ways, a spiritually healthy church is like a big family. And the reverse is true. In many ways, a spiritually healthy family is like a little church. This principle runs as a subtheme throughout 1 Timothy. As I mentioned in the last 1 Timothy post, when it’s done well, male leadership in the church is simply an extension of what’s taking place in the home.

As such, the home is not so much a pastor-dad’s proving ground for leadership ability as it is his primary place of ministry. He simply must be a good husband and father. He is to lead and minister (that is, serve) effectively in both the home and church, and he is disqualified from church leadership if he can’t be a servant-leader at home.

Shown Spiritual Maturity (v. 6)

New believers and those immature in their faith have not proven their character and are not ready, yet, to be an overseer or pastor. Paul’s concern is basic, and obvious: Immature believers are perhaps especially susceptible to pride, which can bring them down just like it did for Satan. So in order to serve as a leader in the church, a man must not be too new in his understanding of the gospel, or of God Himself.

Earned Public Respect (v. 7)

The final qualification that Paul mentions here is that the church leader must have a good reputation in the public eye. His integrity must begin at home, proceed into his church, and extend out into the larger community. Even if his family and church love him, if a pastor has not demonstrated a keen appreciation for how he comes across to nonbelievers or the general public, he is not fit for leadership. Paul doesn’t mince words: he says to neglect this idea is to risk falling into a trap of Satan and into disgrace. Certainly a pastor’s real evaluation comes from God and he should live for an audience of One (see 1 Corinthians 4.3-4). However, while not being driven by public opinion, a pastor should care about how he represents God in view of an outside community that is watching. If he doesn’t, he’s not qualified to lead in the first place.

God certainly cares about the character of the men who would lead His church. To ignore His requirements concerning proven character is to follow a recipe for disaster. It is out of His love that He places such requirements: for the glory of His name, the good of His church, and the hope of the larger community.

[This is part of a larger series on 1 Timothy called The Community of Truth.]

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

God Is Still Faithful

A couple of weeks ago brought some highs and lows for our family.

First, a major high point.  Monday that week marked our son’s third birthday.  We continue to be blessed by the amazing gift that God has given us in Luke.  Like every child he has his rough moments, but overall he is the sweetest, funniest, cutest little guy I know—and shouldn’t every dad say that!  But I think it’s true.  We had both sets of grandparents in town as well as two of his aunts, and other dear friends from out of town as well. 

We were expecting to close on the sale of our house on his birthday.  We didn’t plan it that way, but that was how the timing fell out.  However, in the height of our joy with his birthday weekend celebration, we got word on Friday afternoon that there was a problem with the sale due to a fence encroachment issue that neither we nor our neighbors knew about.  So we didn’t close on Monday.  In fact, a lot of the weekend and Monday and Tuesday were filled with a flurry of emails and calls and legal agreements and rewritten agreements and on.  It was a little struggle, and a little stressful for a bit.

Then on that same Monday, we received an email that the 34-year-old husband of one of Amy’s oldest and dearest friends had gone into cardiac arrest, that they had revived his heart, but that he was in CCU without any real idea of what had gone wrong.  At first, their family thought that he would not make it—he had even said his goodbye to her.  Amy and I love this family dearly, so this whole episode struck us deeply, and she prepared plans to drive the five-plus hours to see them and help in any way she could.

Throughout these events and others like them, our trust in God’s goodness and providence doesn’t waver—but we sure don’t always understand it.  In the midst of back-to-back types of difficulties, sometimes people offer words of encouragement like: “God is faithful—He’s going to sell that house for you, I just know it.” Or, “God is faithful—I just know He’s going to pull your friend through.”  Although extremely well intentioned, ideas like these miss the mark on God’s faithfulness.

Even if God doesn’t sell your house, He is still faithful.  Even if God doesn’t heal your friend, He is still faithful.  Even if God doesn’t spare your life, He is still faithful.

God’s word is clear about who He is and what He does.  God makes promises, and then keeps His promises.  His faithfulness is often described in terms of promise and fulfillment.  In fact, the entire Bible has been aptly summarized as promises made (Old Testament) and promises kept (New Testament).  Here are four quick reminders about the faithfulness of God.

1. God’s faithfulness is shown as essential in His character.

The Bible teaches from cover to cover that He is faithful, both in spite of and because of our circumstances.  Simply put, it says God is not like us—He is faithful:

God is not a man who lies, or a son of man who changes His mind.  Does He speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill?  (Exodus 23.19, HCSB)

2. God’s faithfulness is shown by example in His consistency.

Even when we waver through unbelief, God is proved to be true.  Our periodic unbelief marks us as “liars” contrasted against the backdrop of God’s faithfulness:

What then?  If some did not believe, will their unbelief cancel God’s faithfulness?  Absolutely not!  God must be true, but everyone is a liar…  (Romans 3.3-4, HCSB)

3. God’s faithfulness is shown by pattern to be constant.

Not only is He consistent in each instance, but He is described as constantly faithful.  He remains faithful:

This saying is trustworthy:
For if we have died with Him, we will also live with Him;
if we endure, we will also reign with Him;
if we deny Him, He will also deny us;
if we are faithless, He remains faithful,
for He cannot deny Himself.
  (2 Timothy 2.11-13, HCSB)

4. God’s faithfulness is shown as redemptive through His plan’s completion.

What we humans often lose sight of in our problems is that, for those who call upon the name of the Lord, we will ultimately have victory in Jesus.  God does care about our relationships, health, and provisions.  But regardless of our money or health or relationships, His faithfulness will complete His redemptive plan and will bring us into His presence—the greatest gift of all:

And we ourselves proclaim to you the good news of the promise that was made to our forefathers.  God has fulfilled this to us their children by raising up Jesus, as it is written in the second Psalm: “You are My Son; today I have become Your Father.” …Therefore, let it be known to you, brothers, that through this man forgiveness of sins is being proclaimed to you…  (Acts 13.32-33, 38, HCSB)

In God’s great providence, our house sold two days later, and our friend was diagnosed three days later not with a heart problem, but with a nerve problem that has been treated with a pacemaker.  God is good, and He is faithful.  But He would still be faithful if these things hadn’t turned out the way we hoped.

It’s reassuring to know that, regardless of what we think about our circumstances, God is still faithful.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Truth about Tough Times

In spite of the fact that many today still falsely teach that becoming a follower of Jesus makes everything in life easier, the truth about tough times has been in God’s Word for a long time.  I could point to several different Scriptures, but none are more concise than some of the first few words of the biblical letter written by James.

Consider it all joy, my brothers, whenever you encounter various trials… (James 1.2).

He has more to say about what the trials do, and what we can do during trials, but before we even look any further, we should note that these few words make some glaring considerations.

1. It is certain that we will face difficulties.

The text says “whenever” you encounter various trials.  It does not say “if.”  Again, while many today paint a rosy picture of the Christian life, James is very clear: you will face trials.

2. Our difficulties will come in a variety of forms.

He proceeds to refer to the difficulties as “various” trials.  This means that they will come in multiple forms.  There is no way to predict what might happen, because from our perspective they will appear random, and will come in a variety of types.

3. Our difficulties may come suddenly.

His word “encounter” could have at least a couple of implications.  First, it appears that he is saying that there will be times when we come upon difficulties without any warning.  They will seem sudden, without any prior indication.

4. At times we will be surrounded by difficulties.

Another implication from “encounter” is that we may feel surrounded by troubles.  The old adage is that “troubles come in threes.”  But we all know some people who have difficulties that seemingly come in tens or twenties.  Sometimes we are encircled in trials, as if we had fallen into a pit, surrounded on every side.

You’re probably thanking me right now for the reminder of this gloomy-sounding prediction.

Very encouraging, huh?  But the reality is that Christ does not call us to Himself to merely temporarily escape the difficulties of this life.  No, He has far loftier plans, and that should encourage us.  He often lets us go through tough times, or even purposely sends us through them, so that we learn to trust Him more.  It’s about perseverance, which builds maturity in us (see vv. 3-4).  It’s called faith.  And yet, He doesn’t leave us hanging.  He tells us to ask for wisdom in trials, and then He promises to give it (see v. 5).

And ultimately He will grant the crown of life to those who persevere under trials and love Him by faith (see v. 12).

I’m thankful that God tells us the truth about tough times.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Purposeful, Ordered Design

How Men and Women Reflect Godly Character in the Church

A couple of months ago Newsweek ran a series of stories on the ‘new macho.’  I didn’t realize that the old macho was old.  Maybe that means I’m getting old, since I never caught up with old macho.  But the feature attempted to highlight the changing attitudes towards what is and is not culturally acceptable about being manly.  Regardless of where current culture is, there has always been a divine plan for masculinity and femininity.

Although it’s been quite a bit of time since I’ve been able to get back to 1 Timothy, today we continue with chapter 2.  After speaking about gospel-advancing prayer, Paul’s attention turns to God’s purposeful, ordered design for church gatherings, and particularly about men and women in the life of the church.  Verse 8 acts as the pivot point: it concludes the prior thought, and at the same time segues to the next point.

Many would agree that this specific text of Scripture is one of the more difficult passages of the Bible to interpret.  In light of that, we need to remember a few important presuppositions from a historical-grammatical perspective of the interpretation of Scripture.

  1. The goal from this perspective is to understand the author’s original intent—what he meant by what he wrote, and what he intended the original audience to understand.
  2. More difficult, obscure texts of Scripture should be interpreted in light of easier, clear texts of Scripture.
  3. When a Scripture writer addresses a specific issue, or instructs a specific point, to a specific audience, he never says anything he wouldn’t more generally say to any other audience, nor violate other Scriptures in the process.
  4. Scripture cannot mean (now) what it never meant.

There are of course other historical-grammatical principles for interpretation, but these are key to understanding this text.  Here is the next section, on purposeful, ordered design in the church:

I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; (9) likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, (10) but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (11) Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. (12) I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. (13) For Adam was formed first, then Eve; (14) and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. (15) Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control. (1 Timothy 2.8-15, ESV)

How can men and women particularly reflect God’s character through the church?

1. By design, Christ followers are to focus on the internal rather than the external. (1 Timothy 2.8-10)

Students of the Word know this is not a newly introduced concept.  After all, we know that “the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart (1 Samuel 16.7, ESV).  We hear Jesus talking about not being like the Pharisees who are “like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness” (Matthew 23.27, ESV).  Paul hits on the same idea.

He starts with the guys.  Instead of being angry, contentious men, these men were encouraged to be known for their faithful prayers that flowed out of a pure heart (see v. 8).

Coming just after the section of primary importance concerning gospel-advancing prayer, Paul wraps up that idea by saying that men should not focus on what they can gain by exerting contentious authority.  Instead they must humble themselves in prayer.  Perhaps this confronted a local problem in these Ephesian churches, but ultimately it points to something basic in male human nature to be competitive.  But sinful nature can take it to being combative or obnoxiously macho.  Men want to prove themselves to other men, and women.  Against that notion, Paul submits the idea that it would be positively countercultural if men were more concerned with humbling themselves before men and women in prayer for their church, community, and society.

The comment about lifting holy hands refers less to any command about lifting them, I believe, than that hands that are lifted must be holy, which supports the idea that the larger point is in regard to humble prayers.

He then speaks to the ladies.  Instead of being vain, ostentatious women, these women were encouraged to be known for their good deeds that flowed out of a Godward pursuit (see vv. 9-10).

In much the same way as men, women can be concerned with appearance more than what’s going on inside.  This Scripture does not say that women shouldn’t care about appearance, nor that they should be homely at church (as some have wrongly argued that it does!).  That misses the point.  Perhaps Paul was confronting their need to look different from the world, but that’s ultimately not his central point.  When a woman is more concerned about her outward appearance than her internal character, she has missed the mark, just like the men in verse 8.  In fact, Peter says essentially the same thing in 1 Peter 3.3-4.

Ultimately, what he is promoting is that, by design, men and women are to focus on the internal, rather than the external.

2. By design, church leaders are to follow the pattern of creation rather than the culture. (vv. 11-14)

Perhaps it’s easier to begin by stating what this text does not mean.  It does not mean women at worship gatherings must be in complete silence—several examples in Scripture make that apparent.  It does not mean merely that men can speak as opposed to women.  I believe it directs ladies to participate at the worship gatherings in a quiet, respectful manner, reflecting the same design as in the home.

There are some things that God has set in order that we will learn from, even when we don’t realize we’re learning from them.  It’s been a mystery but revealed in Christ that ultimately women and men are equal in Christ and yet God calls us to differing roles of leadership and submission.  Marriage is intended to reflect that (see Ephesians 5.15-33, esp. v. 32).  Although many marriages fail to do this, when it works the way God has designed, the pattern changes from an authoritarian man who wants to assert authority into a beautiful servant leadership that desires to demonstrate love toward one’s wife, encouraging her to be more like Christ.  It’s a radically different outlook than most of the world seems to understand.

Paul appeals to the order of creation to explain a larger principle that God wants us to get.  When it’s done well, male leadership in the church is simply an extension of what’s taking place in the home.

I believe that the reasoning behind verses 13 and 14 is to show that when Adam abdicated his leadership for what looked nice, he failed to protect his bride and she sinned.  Eve focused on the external, and Adam failed to lead.

Cultural norms will shift.  Paul is saying that church leaders are to follow the pattern of creation rather than the culture.

3. By design, Christian homes are to become a place of honor rather than insignificance. (v. 15)

This is widely regarded as one of the more difficult verses in all of Scripture to interpret, but the context of purposeful, ordered design in the practices of the church sheds ample light on its meaning.

Our culture, then as now, minimizes the value of what takes place in the home.  The role God gives homemakers in raising their children to know God’s grace...is incalculable.

“Saved” in this verse cannot mean justification, for obvious reasons, since the Bible is clear that salvation is not from works.  It could have the meaning, to rescue, or to preserve.  The author says that the process of raising children (“childbearing”) is highly valued before God, and therefore a woman’s value is elevated, not diminished.  Culture feeds a lie that being in the home is not important.  However, the most important thing that a woman (or man) can do is to raise a child to know God.

In the context, and the larger point that Paul is making, it seems most appropriate to understand that in v. 15 he is specifically speaking to women who may feel the pressure of the culture to usurp a leadership role at church or home (as a means of gaining significance), and challenging them to see the exceptional value God places on the management of the home, in raising the next generation of godly leaders.  Christian homes are to be a place of honor rather than insignificance.

Regardless of whatever position one takes on this text of Scripture, it is clear that there is a purpose and design behind the home and the church, and God is revealing something beautiful about His character in the process.

[This is part of a larger series on 1 Timothy called The Community of Truth.]

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Christmas All the Time

And Some Year-end Transitions

Somehow it never ceases to amaze me how early in the year businesses start to decorate with Christmas items.  I'm not opposed to starting to celebrate the season early—I love it!  But late October?  When it's still warm outside, at least in our climate, I have trouble getting into the mood.

The mood I'm talking about is of course those cozy, fuzzy feelings we like to have, or hope to have, during that special annual season from Thanksgiving to Christmas.  The problem is that we tend to forget we are to celebrate Christ's first advent, His first coming, every day.  My prayer for my immediate and extended family is that we all would appreciate and celebrate the sweet feeling of living in the gospel of Jesus every morning.

Speaking of extended family, my family is quite excited to soon call Fellowship Church in Burlington, North Carolina our "family."  As January approaches, we are working through all that it takes to transition our lives, so that we may plant them there.  We look forward to getting to know you, Fellowship!

But this week, it’s certainly cold enough.  Merry Christmas everyone!  Celebrate Jesus' first advent every day!  Every day may not be a holiday, but with Jesus, it is a holy day.

Friday, August 6, 2010

The Clarity Gain of Pain

Several weeks ago, from about mid-June through parts of July, I experienced some of the worst physical pain I have ever felt.  During those days, I began a post to remind myself and share with you some things I was learning through that difficult time.  However, the pain was so intense that I began this post in late June and did not return to it.  Until now.

Here is a portion of what I wrote.  I say a portion because the other parts are unintelligible (just kidding):

Although the last three days have shown slight improvement, today marks two weeks of pain in my left upper back due to a pinched nerve.  As I write, I am in pain.  It has been near constant, gnawing, sometimes piercing, and at intervals excruciating, pain.  I can certainly imagine worse pain, but don’t desire to experience it.

In order to relieve some of the pain, I have tried every way I can imagine to reposition my body.  I have laid down.  I have sat as tall and straight as I can.  I have slumped.  I have paced the halls at the office and at home.  I have stretched and stretched.  Almost no relief.  I have tried acetaminophen and ibuprofen, and then tried alternating the two.  Nothing.

With this type of discomfort, it is phenomenal how much of one’s life it takes over.  My wife can tell you that there have been long stretches of these days when I have been basically helpless—and useless!  It has even placed a strain on our interaction.  For most of the day, I have not been able to mentally concentrate, and very little physical activity has taken place as well.  Several nights I have paced the floor at 1 or 2am trying to reposition my neck and back to ease the pinched nerve, before falling over into our guest bed and crying in pain.  I mean tears.  I had prayed about it, but not “cried out” to God.  In these instances, I quite literally cried out to Him....

Where was I going with the above post?  I wanted to remind myself, during the few daily moments when I could focus my attention, that God was teaching me about my dependence on Him.  Continually on my mind were all the folks around us who have chronic pain.  God was giving me a reminder, once I (hopefully) exited on the other side of those tough days, that I could do nothing unless God granted it.

It was during those few moments when I wasn’t focused on the pain that I was able to regain an acute clarity of all the things I needed and wanted to accomplish just as soon as the pain was over.

And so I developed plans, in my head, of goals and tasks that I needed to complete if and when I regained the ability to do them.  The pain was acute and necessary to remind me just how miserable it felt to be personally incapable—apart from ability that God graciously provides.  Eventually a team of chiropractors was able to help fix me.  But the whole episode gave me perhaps the best clarity I have discerned in several years regarding what matters most, and that I cannot squander any of the days of my life and the opportunities they offer—all of which are precious gifts from our Creator.

So teach us to number our days
That we may gain a heart of wisdom
(Psalm 90.12, NKJV).

There is of course an old, frustrating cliché that says, “No pain, no gain.”  It’s annoying primarily because it’s true.  And I pray I don’t forget it.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Community of Truth – Series Archive

A Series on 1 Timothy

Below you can find links to a series we will be developing here in the coming days on the biblical book of 1 Timothy. This post will serve as the series permalink, with parts updated as they are posted. We pray this will become a helpful resource in your Godward progress.

  1. A Loving Command (Introduction)
  2. Protecting the Integrity of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.3-4)
  3. Promoting the Goal of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.5-7)
  4. Proclaiming the Grace of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.8-11)
  5. Preserving the Progress of the Gospel (1 Tim 1.18-20)
  6. Intense Desire for Ministry (1 Tim 1.12-17)
  7. Gospel-Advancing Prayer (1 Tim 2.1-8)
  8. Purposeful, Ordered Design (1 Tim 2.8-15)
  9. Proven Character for Leadership (1 Tim 3.1-7)
  10. Respectable Volunteer Leaders (1 Tim 3.8-13)
  11. The Pillar and Pattern of the Truth (1 Tim 3.14-16)
  12. Falling Away from Faith (1 Tim 4.1-5)
  13. Good Servants of Christ Jesus (1 Tim 4.6-16)
  14. Church Life as Family (1 Tim 5.1-16)
  15. Maintaining Trustworthy Elders (1 Tim 5.17-25)
  16. When God Doesn’t Change My Circumstances (1 Tim 6.1-2)
  17. Godliness with Contentment (1 Tim 6.3-10, 17-19)
  18. Guarding the Trust (1 Tim 6.11-16, 20-21)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Year in Review 2009: Ray’s Pizza

The Bell #best09 Blog Challenge prompt for the day is to share a good restaurant moment from this year.  I had a restaurant moment just today with my friend Matt.  Jason’s Deli.  Half a Club Royale and a cup of Spicy Seafood Gumbo.  It was a good restaurant moment.

Come to think of it, any time I get to eat out is a good restaurant moment.

But one restaurant event that I thought might be blog-worthy comes from May of this year.  I’m quite certain I will write more about my parents’ adventure in coming days, but the basic idea is that during the week of Mother’s Day, my wife and I took my parents to New York City and Washington, D.C.  My parents had never been to NYC, and my mom had not been to D.C. either.  The trip was so much fun, and a blessing in many ways, but again, I will write more about it in short order.

For tonight, though, I will share a pic from one particular restaurant moment that I had forgotten about.  Here’s the scene.  We’re dragging my aging parents through NYC, taking the subway instead of walking whenever possible, and taking elevators to the subway whenever possible.  However, despite our best efforts to keep Mom and Dad from much physical exertion, getting around to all the NYC sites takes some energy.  It was time to eat, and we wanted some great pizza, so we stopped into Ray’s Pizza on 7th Avenue, just north of Times Square.

My dad’s health is worse than my mom’s, but you wouldn’t know it from this photo.  I quickly snapped it on my phone, and my mom gave me permission to post it.

Dad and Mom at Ray's Pizza

Part of Mom and Dad’s Big NYC Adventure.  Gotta love it. :)

Year in Review 2009

Last night I hurriedly completed an entry that probably didn’t make much sense to anyone who loosely follows what I ever-so-loosely write.  So let me explain.

One of our friends, Jenn, who is now a newlywed Cali gal, tweeted about Gwen Bell and her Best of 2009 Blog Challenge.  While I had not heard of Gwen, I thought this looked like an interesting global call to keyboards everywhere.  Gwen gives prompts for each day of December to post about the most memorable and #best09 happenings.

As I tried to quickly type up my short post for December 1, my sweet wife had the chutzpah (read with sarcasm) to ask me if there were any other dudes taking the blog challenge: “Is it primarily girls?” she asked.  I wasn’t sure what to think next: Was she just being facetious, or was she questioning my manhood?  Since I am still unsure of the answer to my question, I would like to use this post to affirm my manly goals in this series.

I have always been intrigued by the annual year-in-review-type shows that grace our television networks, especially “news” networks, this time of year.  Even before Thanksgiving had arrived, I saw an ad for a documentary that will replay the year’s top stories.  And I used to be unduly critical of shows that talk about the year’s best when we still have 1/12 of the year remaining.  I felt it could set low expectations of Decembers everywhere.  But now I see the benefits of remembering.

So, for a blog poser like me, this challenge gives the opportunity to share a year in review—to revisit all those things I should have posted throughout the year.  Let’s just say I’ll be taking the blog challenge in order to catch up from procrastination, which is very manly, and will make my wife very proud of her man.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Year in Review 2009: Kauai Trip

Although I have no idea who Gwen Bell is (please, no offense, Gwen) ;), on the tweeted idea of our dear friend Jenn, I am accepting The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge.  You can watch for #best09.  More about that later.  I also have no idea how many days in December I will complete this, but since I have exactly five minutes left to complete today’s challenge idea, I need to make a quick entry.

Today’s idea is for the best trip of 2009.  I was blessed to have a few trips to choose from, but a free trip (courtesy of my sister-in-law Melissa) to Kauai, Hawaii has to top the list.  It’s hard to top Hawaii; it’s hard to beat free.

I’ll post pics later, but I don’t want to miss today’s deadline. :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Marriages, and More Marriages

I have been marrying couples for a few years, and I usually have two or three weddings per year.  However, this year I have had the privilege of officiating the marriage ceremony of several couples.

It has been such a blessing to partner with these couples in their progress towards marriage.  In our premarital sessions, we have the opportunity for honest conversations about the real issues of life, and how marriage is intended to work.  God’s plan for marriage was designed to reflect His relationship with His people, which is why the institution is so important.  I’ve written briefly about marriage here, here, and here.

We’ll be praying for these sweet couples!

Peter and Meredith
Peter and Meredith
December 28, 2008 (not quite this year)
Dave and Tricia
Dave and Tricia
March 28, 2009
Phil and Brandi
Phil and Brandi
May 2, 2009
Tyler and Erin
Tyler and Erin
June 27, 2009
Billy and Bethany
Billy and Bethany
July 11, 2009
Brian and Michelle
Brian and Michelle
October 23, 2009
Brian and Christine
Brian and Christine
October 31, 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Reaching Eight

A couple of days before our wedding anniversary at the beginning of this month, my wife and I were blessed to use a gift certificate we had been holding for a nice occasion.  An anniversary seemed nice enough to us.  We went to an exceptional restaurant where we enjoyed excellent steaks.  Our server was a friendly guy who took great care of us.  He knew we were there for a special event, and asked if it was our anniversary.

“Yes, number eight!” I said, with enthusiasm.

“Well, congratulations!” he replied.  “At least you made it past seven—that’s the hard one, they say.”

Presumably, our new friend was referring to the proverbial seven-year itch, a term popularized by a 1950s Broadway play and later Hollywood film, that even ends up being an apparent premise for scholarly psychological research.  (However, I should note that Wikipedia states that the seven-year itch may refer to scabies, a parasitic skin infection.)  According to conventional (non)wisdom, around the seventh year of marriage, it is common for married folk to start “itching,” looking around to see what else is out there, since all the newness has worn off their current model.  Sadly, many couples reach the so-called itch stage far earlier than the seven-year mark, and still others decide to call it quits after 30 years.  In both cases, and all points in between, the results are heartbreaking.

I’m blessed with the privilege and challenge of officiating weddings and providing and requiring premarital counseling for the couples I marry.  Some couples think they pretty much know how relationships work, and others fear they have no clue.  The truth is usually somewhere in the middle.  Most folks know enough to get started, but they usually cannot possibly realize before their big day all that will be required in the continual growth process called marriage.

This month as we have reached eight years of marriage, I’ve been able to revisit the work in progress that makes our marriage something that we pray honors God and is a blessing to us and others.  Even after eight years, I’m still learning, almost weekly, what it takes to build a solid marriage.  I expect I’ll still be learning when we’ve reached 28, or 48 years.

I could write a book already, but here briefly is what I am continually learning.

Love.  Sometimes in Christian teaching or books (or blogs), discussion of what love is very quickly turns to a description of the distinctions between a worldly kind of love, and a godly one.  Although the distinctions are important, I don’t aim to do that here.  Volumes have been written on love—defining it, helping us to apply it, and so forth.  I simply want to state that my wife needs my love—all kinds of love.  Spiritually, physically, emotionally.  She needs to know that I am hers.  And she needs to feel it.  We all know that love expressed is far more than a feeling—it is a covenant.  But love received must be both known and felt.

Paul the Apostle writes, concerning church relationships but certainly true in marriage also:

Let love be without hypocrisy.  Romans 12.9 (NASB)

Patience.  I often tell young couples that the things that they find as cute little quirks about their spouse-to-be will most likely eventually become the very things they cannot stand later in marriage.  That is, of course, because we tend to overlook or even defend those practices when young love (a.k.a. immature infatuation) is driving the situation.  Later, it will take great patience and realistic expectations to overlook differences.  And true patience is realized when we actually appreciate the differences, just not in the naive way we did when we were younger.  When this works the way it is intended, our spouses will complete us, compliment us, at times compensate for us, and be a companion to us.

Again Paul writes that we should live:

…with patience, bearing with one another in love… 
Ephesians 4.2 (ESV)

Gentleness.  A few years ago, I thought my wife was easily hurt.  Turns out, I was just a punk.  Stemming from frustration due to my impatience (see above), I was easily irritated and apparently let her know it.  She has done the same with me.  And yet, the more we progress in character, the more we learn that love and patience require gentleness.  She needs to sense that I am for her by the way that I respond to all that goes on during our weeks.  If ultimately minor problems—either self-inflicted by one of us or handed to us by outside circumstances—cause me to treat her with any kind of negative attitude, she immediately knows it and is understandably hurt.  My job and privilege is to show kindness and gentleness in every circumstance so that through loving patience, she knows and feels my love.

In this regard, Paul modeled the way:

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.  1 Thessalonians 2.7 (NASB)

In a nutshell, these are among the top marital lessons that I have been learning, and will continue to learn, with increasing clarity.  I’m not there yet, and neither is my wife.  But we both are committed to growing in grace, and that is why the gospel of Christ is so important.

Simply put, our marriage could never become what God has intended if it weren’t for the continual, progressing work of grace through His gospel.  God is so good.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

When 'Stupidity' Becomes Costly

Have you ever felt really stupid?  Has being "stupid" ever cost you?  I've had more than my share of those moments.  Often it's not actual stupidity, but the feeling of stupidity that really seems costly.  Like today for example.

I had the day off today.  It wasn't vacation—it was a floating holiday.  I've never known exactly what that means, because I didn't really celebrate much of anything today (except that I had the day off), and it didn't seem like I was floating at all.  In fact, gravity kept me down all day.  But I digress.  I had the day off, so it seemed like the perfect day to finally have an electrician come to the house and figure out what was wrong with our main kitchen light.

When our light first went out, I checked all the fuses.  Nothing.  Then I bought new lamps and changed them.  Nothing.  Then I bought a voltage meter and checked the electric current going through certain wires.  Nothing.  Or at least I thought nothing.

Admittedly, it had been out for a little while.  However, with three other secondary lights on, it was quite luminous.  But the thought of paying an electrician for something I thought I should be able to figure out was discouraging.  Amy was, rightly so, "encouraging" me to get it fixed.  Yesterday, the day finally arrived to schedule an appointment for today.  The professional came this morning.

Robert is a great guy.  Super nice, and he knows what he's doing.  Unlike me apparently.  In short order he checked the same basic electric current issues in the same basic ways I did using the same basic voltage meter.  But he also found what he thought was the problem.  He told me he could go to Lowe's to buy a ballast that seemed to be the issue.  No extra charge for the service call except the ballast cost itself.  I said sure.

He came back, and was working away.  We had a nice chat.  We talked about our kids.  I invited him to my church and found out that he is a deacon at his.  Like I said, super guy.

Okay, all done—check the switch.  Presto...the light is working again.  The ballast cost: $30.  The company's standard service call: more than I care to admit.  Worth it, due to my stupidity, but still—I'm just sayin'.  I then tipped Robert beyond the service charge, because of his good service.

If I had known what I was doing, beyond the lamps and voltage meter, I could have simply spent $30, and that would have done it.  Instead, I feel really stupid for not possessing some basic knowledge of electricity, which could have saved me my arm and my leg.  I still think I should have been able to figure it out.

So, help me out.  Have you ever felt stupid?  So stupid that it cost you?  I can think of multiple car repair items, home repairs, finding coupons or sales immediately after purchasing something...you name it, I've paid for it.  I'm hoping at least one person will comment with a story—so that I can at least feel better. :)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Update #3 on Dad

A few weeks ago, I had mentioned in this space that my dad would be having a significant procedure done, so I wanted to follow up.

He has had a ~90% blockage in his carotid artery, and the doctor decided that he had recovered enough from a skin cancer removal to go ahead with this procedure.  There had been potential concerns with having an open or near-open wound.  However, they went forward with the procedure, placing a stent in his carotid artery, which should certainly help with his circulatory problems.  Everything seems to have been successful in this regard.

While they were conducting the procedure, they checked an artery near his brain that has had another significant blockage.  With its proximity to the brain, the affected area is in too delicate a location to be cleaned or to place a stent, so it has been an ongoing point of concern.  The doctor reported that there does not seem to be any increase in that blockage, so this news is as good as it can be under the circumstances.  However, they also found yet another 90% blockage in his right leg.  The hope is that in a few more weeks, they can either clean out or place a stent in the leg artery as well.

Thank you for praying!